Monday, March 19, 2012

A Rant About the Wedding

**This is not the usual Monday morning-weekend recap, but it is something that I've had on my mind recently. And where better to spill what has been on my mind than on this little ol' bloggy of mine? If you're not into reading a whole lot of words, feel free to check back later today for the usual words plus piccies post** :)

I thought it was just me, but over the (snot infused) weekend recently, I discovered that I am not alone in thinking that a lot of the wedding finery is just a load of baloney. I stumbled across A Practical Wedding where there are plenty of other brides-to-be and brides-that-have-been that think the same way! Now, I am totally engrossed with all things wedding at the moment, don't get me wrong! But I'd been having a hard time reconciling all of the stuff that 'you just have to have' with my own image of what I want our wedding to look and feel like.

PK and I are after a low key, relaxed and fun event to celebrate our low key, relaxed and fun relationship! Surely it shouldn't be that hard? But I have been finding out the hard way that it seems everyone buys into the premise that a wedding has to cost 'x' amount with 'x' inclusions- especially after reading a few (too many) blogs and magasines focused on the subject. Almost every dress shop I entered (before finding 'the one') kept pushing me to try on the big poofy princess style wedding dress -so not me- even though I told them when entering I wasn't into that! Suffice to say that none of those stores got a sale from me! When I tell vendors when the wedding is to be held, I get mixed reactions- either I'm starting too early or too late depending on who I speak to! 

Discovering this site has helped me re-focus and acknowledge that we are doing ok with our planning. PK and I have sat down and spoken about what is important to us about the day -primarily that we actually get married- and everything after that is gravy! PK is into his photography, so we are looking to have beautiful images that capture our day the way it happens (and PK is very particular about what he wants for this!). I want a small but enjoyable celebration after the ceremony, so we are limiting our guest list to those people that have been with us the whole way, the people we see most often and want to share that party with. Every time I tell people that, I get "Good luck with that!" Well, I thank you for your well wishes, but really- I don't want every one and their second cousin twice removed attending! Luckily our families are on board with this one so that makes it a little easier.

We're also invested in providing our guests with some entertainment or activity while the bridal party is off having photos taken. After having attended a few lately where the gap between ceremony and reception was filled with a whole lot of nothing we want to do something! We want our guests to feel included in the event, from the moment they arrive until they leave, even if they aren't a groomsman/bridesmaid or family. PK and I are excited about keeping this a surprise as well- we're not even telling our parents (who are kindly contributing to the budget) about it!

I've been going through all of the archives from the APW site, gaining fresh perspective with each post. For example, I wasn't feeling too enthused about wedding cake. I mean, I love cake -I love all dessert really- but there wasn't one particular flavour or style that was making me look forward to shelling out money for this 'necessity'. And then I read a post from a former bride who had cheesecake as their wedding cake. And I cracked a huge grin as I thought I love cheesecake! So I excitedly ran (ok, so I actually walked but you get the idea) to tell PK and he agreed that cheesecake was an awesome idea because we love cheesecake! Now we just have to convince others about it (including my mum who was rather surprised when I mentioned it yesterday).

Coming around to feeling comfortable with what might not be the expected path for wedding planning has definitely contributed to PK and I (especially me) feeling more relaxed about the whole thing. And that means now I can get back to dreaming about the honeymoon!!

Feel free to spill the beans below- how did you feel before/during/after your wedding? What did you stress out about? What was your favourite part? What was your least favourite part- would you change anything? End rant :)

4 comments:

saz said...

Hey Cathy! I've been helping a friend with her wedding and it's so true that most of the time the wedding becomes a huge crazy thing where you end up doing what you think people want or expect from you. The day is about you two and you should go with what makes you both happy. I love the cheesecake idea! I joke that I would have a bouquet of herbs if I ever find myself taking that walk down the aisle! Good luck with it all! Teresa recommended us one of her friends to make my friend's wedding dress for half what it cost at the shops and it looks so much better because it's tailored to fit her. Lemme know if you want to go check her out!

Chloe said...

Hey Cathy- congratulations on the engagement! For me the best thing about organising your wedding (or thinking about organising your wedding- I really haven't gotten that far!) is that you can just do whatever the hell you want! So many wedding traditions are done just.... because. That's what you do when you get married. It's what people are expecting....etc etc. But how boring is that! I really think it takes all of the personality away from the event. Make it your own day! Also- glad I'm not the only one who hates the 'wedding dress fashion' of today... They are pretty much all the same aren't they? A strapless design with varying amounts of frou-frou, frills, lace and diamontes.

Cathy said...

Hi Saz! I have actually found my dress already but still stumped about bridesmaid's dresses -thinking getting them made might be the way to go- so email my the details and I'll check them out! A bouquet of herbs sounds very you, I'm yet to even think about flowers yet! :)

Cathy said...

Hey Chloe, thanks for the congrats! Still doesn't seem real some days :) Thanks for the support as well- it seems quite incredible that so many people think this way but it doesn't really get reflected in the mainstream magazines. Definitely with you about the frou-frou! Maybe we should have a "Just say no to frou-frou" badge for wedding dress shops? :P

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